


I'm Not Alone (Yet)

by rattmann



Series: Fair Game Week 2020 [3]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, fairgameweek2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23230384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rattmann/pseuds/rattmann
Summary: Qrow is a man with many problems, surprisingly, Clover is more than willing to help him through it.Fair Game Week Day 5: Hurt/Comfort
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Series: Fair Game Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667926
Comments: 3
Kudos: 76





	I'm Not Alone (Yet)

Qrow always wanted to know what it felt like to jump off of a building. Would he land with a crunch, or a splat? Would he land on his front or his back? Would he die immediately, or would he be able to feel the life seeping from his body? Who would find him, would it be someone he knew or a stranger? Who was the voice always telling him to just end it?

Raven? Ozpin? Himself?

He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of, however, was the wind blowing against him as he stood on the balcony, the howling noise reminded him of the nights in the tribe. When they made him sleep a mile away from camp because they thought his semblance would’ve blown their tents away or led a pack of Grimm to their hideout. He remembers how Raven slowly but surely stopped visiting him on those nights, claiming they wouldn’t let her leave. Qrow knew now that the real reason was that she didn’t want to be seen with her outcast of a brother, status in the tribe was always more important to her than family. That was still the case to this day.

Leaning over the edge, he stares down at the concrete. He could jump right now, to see how it felt. Maybe he’d turn into a bird at the last second, no one would question a dead crow found at Atlas Academy, but there would certainly be questions as to how the crow got there. Birds didn’t exactly live anywhere near this place, Solitas was never known for their wildlife.

Maybe if he got to the edge of the flying kingdom, he could jump down to Mantle. Those people wouldn’t think twice about it, more worried about their impending doom that Ironwood was resting on their shoulders. That was a good idea. It was late, so no one would be able to distract him… to stop him. Not James, not Winter, not the Ace Ops, not his kids... 

He could be free.

Maybe he could do a swan drive as he jumps, he snorts at that. Shaking his head, he grips the railing tightly. These thoughts have been at the front of his mind ever since he stopped drinking. When he was drunk he could ignore his pitiful thoughts, drowning in a bottle rather than his own sorrows. But now that he doesn’t have that to turn to, he’s left with these thoughts torturing his very existence. He’s not wanted here, those kids don’t need him anymore, he’s going to ruin everyone’s lives just by being around, he’s going to relapse, he’s going to get someone killed, he’s going to-

“What’s a pretty bird like you doing out here all alone?” A friendly voice calls from behind him, Qrow feels the tension in his back relax immensely. He hears the man’s footsteps falling against the ground as he nears closer, the Huntsman spares him a quick glance before looking back over the edge.

“Hm, trying to get away from walking clichés actually.” He murmurs, Clover lets out a soft laugh next to him. It does something funny to his chest as he listens to the noise, it makes him feel sick. He didn’t deserve to listen to that laugh. He didn’t deserve Clover.

“Nightmares again?” Clover asks, voice light but tone underlying something more. The Huntsman watches out of his peripheral as the man grips the railing. His own fingers drum against the rail, he shrugs slightly.

“Suppose so, they won’t stop.” He doesn’t bring up how he hasn’t actually slept in days. But he’s sure the Ace Op can piece it together. The first time Clover found out Qrow had nightmares he was screaming so loud that he woke the man up, they weren’t even in the same room. He didn’t find out until the next morning that he woke up the other Ace Ops as well, he had tried to leave their quarters after that. Clover never let him. When the Huntsman had asked him why, he had only said that he needed to take care of his team. His partner.

“I’d ask how long it’s been since you’ve slept, but I think I can take a lucky guess.”

“Bingo.”

Qrow can’t look at him. He refuses to look at him. Afraid of what he’ll see. Anger? Disappointment? Pity? Clover’s hand resting atop his own stops his spiraling thoughts. His heart flutters in his chest. Qrow flips his hand so Clover can intertwine their fingers together.

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.” The Ace Op says after a moment, thumb moving back and forth across Qrow’s hand. His tone is gente, yet firm. He knows Clover would never push or pressure him into doing something he wasn’t ready for, but he also knew the man wouldn’t let him stew in his own crippling thoughts either. “You can talk to me, Qrow.”

“I know.” Does he?

Silence seemed to be the loudest noise ever in this moment. The only thing he could hear was the howling of the wind, and Clover’s soft puffs of breath next to him. He felt it bubbling up, the desire to speak. To spill his heart and mind onto the man next to him, his body felt like it was going to fall apart. He wanted Clover to piece him back together. He wanted to be free, he wanted to see his kids live a long fulfilling life, he wanted Salem to be defeated, he wanted a lot of things. But more than anything… what he wanted more than anything right now, was Clover. He wanted Clover.

“I was thinking of jumping.”

_“What?”_

“Jumping. Off the edge. Do you need a picture book or something?”

Clover frowns, eyebrows furrowing together. Qrow figures being an ass probably isn’t the best idea after he just revealed _that_ of all things. He opens his mouth to apologize, but finds that no words want to come out. Luckily for him, the Ace Ops speaks so he doesn’t have to.

“I’d jump with you.”

“What? No you wouldn’t!”

“I would.” Clover hums, tightening his grip on Qrow’s hand for a moment. “I think I would do anything with you, I’d without a doubt do anything for you.”

“You can’t just… Clover you can’t do that. You have a life to live.” Clover chuckles at that, a soft smile on his face. Although he looked happy enough, he sounded sad. Qrow wonders if that’s his fault.

“So do you.”

Qrow’s face twitches into a scowl, a frown forming on his face as he turns his head the other way. He knows Clover was right, but those negative thoughts still linger around in his brain. The Ace Op seems to know that, strangely enough.

“You’re here for a reason, Qrow. I know you find that hard to believe. But you’re standing here with me, rather than rotting away someplace on Remnant. Doesn’t that amount to anything?” Qrow nods slightly after a moment, Clover takes that as ignition to continue speaking, “The General trusts you with his life, those kids idolize you, my team wants you to join the Ace Ops. I… I care about you a lot, Qrow. And… I know we haven’t known each other long, but I can tell you’re much happier now than you were before we met. You’re not as hard to figure out as you think.”

Qrow doesn’t know what to say about… any of that. Thankfully, Clover doesn’t seem to mind. The Ace Op cups his cheek, guiding him gently so red eyes could meet teal. Qrow feels his breath catch in his throat at the look the man is giving him. “Please don’t shut me out. Keep talking to me.”

“I…” Qrow pauses for a moment, the feeling of Clover’s hand resting on his cheek was distracting him yet also holding him down, keeping him grounded in this sick joke that was called reality, “I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of, Qrow?”

He’s afraid of Salem, of her winning. He’s afraid that his kids will never live a life worthwhile. He’s afraid he’ll end up relapsing and disappointing everyone he loves. He’s afraid of so many things, too many things to express all in one night. So, he decides to settle on one thing.

“I’m afraid…” Swallowing, he grits his teeth together to stop his chin from wobbling. He wasn’t going to cry, he couldn’t cry. He already felt pathetic enough. “I’m afraid that one day I’m going to wake up and you won’t.”

“Baby bird…”

The wind feels stronger, colder, as if it was trying to rip his skin off. Clover’s hand moves from his cheek to the back of his neck, fingers gliding through his hair. The Ace Op tugs him closer, his free arm wrapping around his waist to pull him into a tight hug. Qrow bites the bottom of his lip harshly, swinging his arms around the man's shoulders. “That’s not going to happen, I won’t let it.”

“You don’t know that, Clo-”

_“I won’t let that happen.”_

Clover’s grip on him tightens, Qrow lets out a shaky breath. He knows the Ace Op can’t promise anything, certainly not that, especially with what’s to come. But some part of him… some part of him feels hopeful. Feels safe. Like maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. That Clover would make everything turn out okay.

“Let's get you inside,” Clover whispers in his ear, “I found this gorgeous bird that I’d hate to see freeze.”

Qrow lets out a wet laugh, nodding against Clover’s neck. They pull away relecuantly, Clover’s hand immediately finds its way back into Qrow’s, holding him as if he was afraid Qrow would disappear. The Huntsman leans close to the man as they walk back inside, shoulders brushing together as they presumably go to his room.

“Qrow?” He hums in acknowledgment, sparing a glance at the man next to him. “Would you actually jump?”

“No. Never.”

Clover smiles, teal eyes growing soft. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t need to. They’re both silent after that, the only noise being their footsteps on pristine Atlas floors. It doesn’t take them long to reach Qrow’s room. Once they stop, Clover turns to leave with one last squeeze of his hand. The Huntsman stops him from leaving with a quiet shout, “Wait!”

The Ace Op turns immediately, giving him an expectant look. Qrow licks his lips before talking again, “Will you… come to bed with me?”

A soft smile, a look of pure affection, a hand on the small of his back. “Of course, sweetheart. I’d do anything for you.”

And as both men climb into Qrow’s bed, the Huntsman rests his head on Clover’s shoulder with an arm on his chest, while the Ace Ops arm wraps around him… he decides on one thing. Maybe he won’t be jumping off of any buildings or cliffs anytime soon, but he was surely falling for something else.

That something else being a man with soft chestnut hair, streaks of gray forming at the roots, with breathtaking teal eyes and a smile that lit up the room. That something else being a man too positive for his own good, not afraid to speak out about how he feels, and always determined to do the right thing. That something else being a man who always makes him smile - usually with luck jokes - no matter how he’s feeling. That something else being a man named Clover Ebi.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading if you got this far, I'd love to know your thoughts!


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